Twenty-Six. Servant Song.

In the dark of this soul, my God I pant for You.

desperation tastes like dust

frustration narrows my throat

and mental circles can’t stop asking

“Why and where?”

Offering turns to turmoil

affliction throbs in my chest

and broken reasoning won’t quit saying

“Just. give. it. up.”

Bones have been crushed

flesh  has been pierced

and incessant pressure keeps on giving

salt and acid, salt and acid.

but through the cracked earth

does the bloom still come!

beyond the cloud the light streams above

Hope is seen to float and yet is heavily anchored by love

more than the notion that everything may or may not happen for a reason or the ethereal ‘for all under  the sun there is an appointed season.’

I cling to a message that maintains  this shell could be destroyed and I’d still grow and gain

tthis discipline and chiseling away isn’t for nothing, isn’t in vain

so  call it a crutch

call it what you may

but I’m convinced of a Cross, I’m persuaded by a name

Oh,  yes I believe in caged birds that sing and bloody wings that still fly

arrow holes that may never close

but form and birth wounds which heal

and the death that leads to life.

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Fourteen. Aftermath.

I have never not loved you

And  mangled hands tell it true.

I made those promises and those vows I intently kept

I have never not loved you

And ink-stained pages tell it true

I made that covenant thoughtfully

and that oath, I assure you I solemnly meant

I have never not loved you

And outdated memories tell it true

I called this ‘home’ devotedly

and that place I believed in

I have never not loved you

and this debauched altar tells it true

I crawled on it because He asked

I sacrificed this

but I will never

not

love

y o u.

Nine.Lavender Hearts

Above this heaving chest
and just right a bit to the left
lies a mark deep and distinct, a mark permanent.
Promise was there, serious and true
and just for a time was everything
lied next to you, lied next to me and so it seemed to be.
Civil battle stormed the field
and just convinced me long enough
lying to you, lying to myself that I could no longer compromise the Truth.
The bullets rained
and just as I turned my heart exclaimed
“LIAR to you, liar to me, and you must choose feelings or Thee!”
Above this sunken chest
and just right a bit to the left
lies a mark deep and distinct, a mark permanent.